From the top floor of the Alton Weekly Inquirer Action EyeWitness NewsCenter On Your Side--With More Local News!, in the true-blue state of Illinois....
Our Top Story Today--Reportedly, The Pub Room in Alton Is Interested: Officials in Vassalboro, Maine, have approved a permit for a topless coffee shop to be placed in an old hotel in town. Cream in your coffee? Er, no thanks. (NOTE: the video report in the link is absolutely NSFW.) (I drink tea, anyway.)
Ahem....Let's go to press!
The......
You've heard of Larry, Darrell, and Darrell--now meet Slay, Coleman, and Coleman (with a Smith thrown in): St. Louis Mayor Francis Slay has drawn a primary challenger in the Democratic primary to be held later this year, Denise Watson-Wesley Coleman. Shortly after this announcement, State Sen. Maida Coleman announced that she would NOT be running in the Democratic primary, and further suggested that Mayor Slay put up the other Coleman's candidacy in order to split the African-American vote, a charge vehemently denied by Denise Coleman and Mayor Slay. Oh, and there's one more candidate in the race, Alderwoman Irene Smith, who allegedly peed in a trash can a few years back.
(You might recall that Mayor Slay was the guy who didn't get Ballpark Village built on the site of the old Busch Stadium, leaving a water-filled pit right next door to the new stadium that's sometimes referred to as "Slay's Swimming Pool". St. Louis gets the MLB All-Star Game this season, so the Pool will be on national display. Greeeeeat.)
And now, a word from our sponsor:
Dave Barry wrote the best headline: Thousands of Iraqi Journalists Visit Miami: Thousands of pairs of shoes were found on the Palmetto Expressway in Miami and collected by the Florida Highway Patrol for distribution to charities. No explanation was offered for the mysterious appearance of the many shoes on the busy highway, which tied up traffic for hours.
(fun fact: former Florida Governor "Jeb!" Bush lives in Miami. Could the FDP have been considering arming themselves in case he chose to run for the open Senate Seat in 2010?)
Sally Kern gets set to cover Oklahoma in ignominy, again: Our favorite state legislator, who once famously pronounced homesexuality as being a bigger threat than terrorism, has stayed true to form with a new bill for the 2009 Oklahoma legislative session. Titled the Religious Viewpoints Antidiscrimination Act, which would allow students to express religious views both at school and in schoolwork without penalty, and open the schools to use by religious groups. Kurt Hochenaur at the Oklahoma Gazette has much, much more on this steaming turd of a bill, which would most definitely put religion into the public school. Once again, I'm so glad I don't live in Oklahoma anymore!
Page Six!
It's a Twilight theme this week, with the two young co-stars of the recent motion picture (click on pics to see larger versions). SnoKat, the AWIAEWNCOYS Entertainment Reporter, has more:
Robert Pattinson, 22, was in HP and GoF when he was 17. Didn't do much after that. Had one theater job he was fired from. Did some indy film work. Was one of the last of nearly 5,000 to try out for the part of Edward in Twilight. He's very funny. Doesn't take himself at all seriously. Gives hillarious interviews. Apparently proposes to women all the time! Has no idea why everyone is so fascinated with his hair because he rarely washes it.
I don't know much about Kristin Stewart. She's 18, been in a few more prominent movies, like Panic Room. She said she'd had the same boyfriend for 2 years, so wasn't impressed with Robert proposing to her.
In the Harry Potter universe, today is Professor Severus Snape's birthday. He was born this day in 1960.
Headlines that sound funny but aren't: The IdaBlue led a story with this headline: Otter housing stipend. I went there, expecting either a pork-barrel spending appropriation gone wild or some new environmental initiative for our loveable riverside friends. It's actually a very thoughtful article on Idaho Governor Bruce Otter and a newspaper's call for him to give up his housing stipend due to hard times. Go check it out--Alan, the writer, makes some interesting points.
Now arrived at Midamerica-St. Louis Airport: Nobody! The airport's one passenger airline tenant, Allegiant Air, will end services later this month, joining a lengthening list of new-entrant passenger airlines who all tried, and failed, to make service to Lebanon/Mascoutah, Illinois (no, really) succeed. The current push is to expand air cargo services, but for now the busiest Midamerica gets is when the Air Force uses its runway for crew training!
This week's Floyd R. Turbo Award has the absolute rarest of sightings: an actual Dick Cheney supporter! Les O'Neal of Swansea, Illinois (do you suppose he and Annual FRTA winner Ron Sutterfield are neighbors?) writes:
I am writing to refute Lori Meyers' erroneous assertion that Vice President Dick Cheney "openly admitted that he did in fact commit war crimes."
Cheney recently discussed decisions made by the Bush administration. He asserted that he stood by those decisions including the interrogation technique known as waterboarding. While there are differing opinions concerning waterboarding, this does not rise to the level of "war crimes."
This administration has been dedicated to protecting America from attacks from abroad and within. The results speak for themselves -- no attacks on American soil. [Editor's note: for some reason this was indented on the Web version of the BNRD; I'm wondering if this might be a quote from The Dick himself that wasn't attributed. Readers?]
One must always examine the source of allegations such as those contained in Meyers' letter. Dennis Kucinich is hardly an impartial observer. His numerous attempts to undermine the work of the Bush administration have not been successful and have been partisan in nature. There is no credibility in his statements regarding the impeachment issue.
Impeachment should not be taken lightly. The Constitution lists impeachable offenses and nothing Cheney has said or done meets those constitutional standards.
Les F. O'Neal
Swansea
It's hard to compete with the wingnut awesomeness of basically channelling our useless Attorney General on the waterboarding issue and using it to defend the indefensible. But if you're wondering where the 10% or so that actually approve of Dick's job performance are, here's one of them. Oh, and since when was trying to uphold the Constitution and force some accountability with the not-soon-enough to be departing Shrub Administration a "partisan" issue? (Harry? Nancy? Hello?)
Your moment of Toasted Spaghetti:
India loves to stretch out in front of the gas log fireplace as close to the heat source as she can. Nancy calls her "Spaghetti" because she's very limp when you pick her up, like cooked pasta.
What's the News in your world this week?