The Alton Weekly Inquirer! 6-6-08

From the top floor of the Alton Weekly Inquirer Action EyeWitness NewsCenter On Your Side, in the true-blue state of Illinois....

Our Top Story Today; the obvious one:

The Alton Telegraph:

The Belleville News-Democrat:

It seems like an eternity ago when the Iowa caucus results started coming in, and it became clear that Obama would not just win, but win decisively.  That night, I remember having trouble going to sleep.  It was the first time that a positive result in an election had gotten to me like that.  Now the candidate few picked to go all the way has a chance to go all the way!  This is history, that we'll be telling our grandkids about someday.  Let's go to press!

The Alton Weekly Inquirer!  News from around the nation, around the world, and up your alley!  ("Up my alley?"  Up YOURS!)

Speaking of "up yours", this doesn't sound like a great idea:  In Florida, the local Sons of Confederate Veterans (shouldn't they be, like 110 years old now, or something?), as part of their Flags across Florida project, want to erect a large flagpole in the Tampa area, at the interesection of Interstates 4 and 75, to fly a very large Confederate battle flag.  Though they recognize the controversy, one of the members (ironically named John Adams!) said:

"We can't do anything but explain to people what the truth is.  If they don't want to accept that, they're closed-minded, and Jesus Christ couldn't change it."

The truth?  They seceded from the Union, launched a war of aggression on the United States in a dispute over "state's rights" (read:slavery), and lost.  They always hate it when I bring up the "lost" part.  (Prepublication update:  The idea was so bad, the editorial board at the conservative Tampa Tribune noticed.  Sort of.)

While we contemplate an outbreak of Confederate flags across Florida, consider this:  Most of us are aware that the day Barack Obama makes his acceptance speech at the DNC--August 28, 2008--will be the 45th anniversary of Martin Luther King Jr.'s iconic "I have a dream" speech on the Washington Mall.  But did you know that the day he won enough delegates to win the nomination, June 3rd, 2008, was also the bicentennial of the birth of CSA President Jefferson Davis?  I wonder if ol' Jeff (and Nathan Bedford Forrest, and all the rest of them) are spinning in their graves now.  (This great catch is from Blast Off!)

When Moon Pies are outlawed....OK, you can see where this is going (and it's not a Southern story):  A homeless man was arrested in Galesburg, Illinois for attacking another man with a sack filled with Moon Pies.  The man was arrested, and the moon pies confiscated as evidence.  Look for charges to be thrown out later when the "evidence" disappears.  (Next thing you know somebody will advocate 5-day waiting periods and background checks before purchasing RC Colas.)

My dear friends, I must tell you that my opponent lacks the experience to be Commander-in-Chief:  Meanwhile, Huggy Bear actually stated on record that Florida Gov. Charlie Crist, who does not even have six months under his belt as the state's chief executive, has enough experience to be Vice President.  I guess Dan Quayle has "other priorities" right now.  (via Florida Politics)

Page Six!

She brings new meaning to the term, "fast woman":

This is Danica Patrick, who makes her living driving 200+ miles per hour in an open-wheel race car.  She has been improving each season and won her first race this year--the first Indy car race ever won by a woman.  Danica has improved in the CART/IndyCar standings every season, and may be poised to win the series in another year or so.

Our equal time beefcake?  Some guy named George:

 I really don't know what the fuss is all about.

Hey Vern!  Hope ya got yo'self a good lawyer, or seven!:  From my old stomping grounds in Sarasota comes word that Rep. Vern Buchanan (R-FL 13) will be facing up to seven lawsuits by July 1st covering consumer fraud (via his car dealerships) and campaign finance law violations.  His former finance director at one of his dealerships said this:

Some of the Buchanan campaign's record $8 million outlay in the 2006 campaign, according to Kezer, likely was laundered corporate cash funneled through higher-ups at Buchanan's numerous dealerships.

Oh yeah, the FL-13 race this year is a rematch between Vern and Chris Jennings--and this year, Sarasota County is voting on machines with paper trails, so there won't be the mysterious 14,000 ballot "undervote" this year.  Woo hoo!  (via Florida Politics)

The remainder bin, soon to runneth over:  These are titles we should be seeing as remainders deep discounts landfill fodder very soon, if not already:

Can She Be Stopped?  Hillary Clinton Will Be the Next President of the United States by Jon Podhoretz

Hillary's Scheme: Inside the Next Clinton's Ruthless Agenda to Take the White House by Carl Limbacher

Madame Hillary : The Dark Road to the White House by R. Emmitt Tyrell

And my personal favorite, for sheer wrongness of Bill Kristol-like proportions:

Condi vs. Hillary: The Next Great Presidential Race by Dick Morris and Ellen McGann

This week's Floyd R. Turbo Award:  A caller to the Belleville News-Republican Democrat's weekly Sound-Off feature left this message:

We cannot afford to pay for gasoline to get back and forth to work to our two jobs, we cannot afford to buy food anymore, we cannot afford to make our house payment. Thanks to the Demo-crats who have control of the House and the Senate, and thanks for the last 10 years of work they have done by preventing U.S. oil companies from drilling off the coast of Florida and California and drilling in Alaska. I'm an environmentalist, too, but enough is enough.

Should we tell him that opposition to drilling in ANWR was bipartisan, and that Mel Martinez, in one of his very few useful moves as junior Senator from Florida, helped lead the opposition to drilling off Florida?  Nah.  Exploding heads are too hard to clean up after.

Oh, and Belleville News Republican Democrat editorial cartoonist Glenn McCoy?  Bite me.

Your moment of Inky Cairo:

What's the news in your world this week?