Our Top Story Today: We're not retiring in Florida, at least here:
THE VILLAGES: Dozens of fans from across the state lined up as early as 4:30 a.m. for a chance to meet [Oliver] North, a Vietnam War veteran who is host of Fox News Channel's documentary series War Stories with Oliver North.[...]
North's visit to The Villages was one of several stops on a national promotion tour for American Heroes, which features personal accounts of U.S. soldiers North met while embedded in Afghanistan, Iraq and the Philippines.
Retired wingnuts think The Villages is heaven; thus, we're staying the hell away from there. Let's go to press!
The Alton Weekly Inquirer! News from around the nation, around the world, and up your alley! ("Up my alley?"Up YOURS!)
The 1-ton masonry launcher is on standby: Washington University in St. Louis will be bestowing an honorary degree at this year's commencement ceremony to conservative total woman Phyllis Schlafly. I'm guessing that the irony of so many female graduates of Wash. U. recieving degrees and heading for careers listening to someone with two degrees and a career advocate for women staying in the home didn't occur to the burghers of Wash. U. But wait, there's more:
What's the perfect complement to America's leading antifeminist? America's leading misogynist:Blast Off! excoriates the Schlafly honorary degree, and also points out that the university--his alma mater--has selected no less than Chris Matthews to be commencement speaker. Perhaps he can tell everyone how St. John McCain makes him all tingly, or something like that. (Mitigating circumstance: Tweety is so loud that Wash U. may save on the energy costs of running a microphone and amps.)
Meanwhile, the kids get it right: As a response to Schlafly's appearance at the Wash. U. commencement, two competing Facebook groups have been created. The one that favors her appearance has 18 members. The one opposing it? 1,023 members. Maybe it's just me, but I think Wash U. picked the wrong Schlafly.
If he truly is a wizard, he should conjure a Patronus Charm against The Stupid: A substitute teacher's innocent magic trick--making a toothpick disappear, then reappear--has put his job on the line. The charge? Wizardry. No, really. The teacher explains:
"I get a call the middle of the day from the supervisor of substitute teachers. He says, 'Jim, we have a huge issue. You can't take any more assignments. You need to come in right away,'" he said.
When Piculas went in, he learned his little magic trick cast a spell that went much farther than he'd hoped.
"I said, 'Well Pat, can you explain this to me?' 'You've been accused of wizardry,' [he said]. Wizardry?" he asked.
These people also voted for Ginny Brown-Waite (she of "let's disinter our WW II servicemen buried in France to be reburied in the United States") to be their Congresscritter. I used to live just south of Land O'Lakes (in Lutz) and I don't recall people being this crazy. But it takes all kinds.
(Yes, it's been covered/blogged to death, but I'm a former resident of the area, so I'm covering it anyway. So there.)
Speaking of Florida, a conservative paper smacks down the Administration's Liberty City Seven trials: The conservative Tampa Tribune excoriates the decision to take the Keystone Kops Liberty City Seven to a third trial:
The Justice Department should drop the case. Wannabes aren't terrorists, and spending millions more won't make them so.
The Trib wasn't always very good at common sense, but they get it right this time. Read the whole thing, as they say.
This sounds like overcharging to me: As part of an auction to benefit the Robert F. Kennedy Memorial, you--yes, you--can bid to have tea with Alan Greenspan and Andrea Mitchell; the bid as of press time was $11,000. The good news is that tea with Greenspan went for $45,000 last year, so maybe the bubble economy is affecting him also. Serves him right!
Sister Sandy Schwartz of the Franciscan Sisters of Mercy shows that she is a sister nun pariel on matters of voting rights: The Republican-dominated stage lege in Missouri is attempting, again, to pass a voter-ID law, this in spite of the fact that their original one, passed in 2006, was struck down by the state Supreme Court. The latest attempt drew this comment from Sister Schwartz, as reported in Time's Swampland blog:
"This may sound like a good idea at first," stated Sister Sandy Schwartz of the Franciscan Sisters of Mary regarding voter ID requirements, "but once you stop to think about who would really be affected, this is going to keep a lot of our loved ones from being able to vote."
Sister Schwartz and others are concerned about the difficulties the policy change would create for elderly Missouri nuns, as well as other senior citizens, the poor, and minorities.
Let's hope that the pen is mightier than the rulers! (BTW, I attended Catholic schools as a boy, and not once did I ever get rapped on the knuckles with a ruler. Our principal, Sister Mary, did not allow that.)
Tomorrow, the AWIAEWNCOYS News Team immerses themselves into the world of culture: The St. Louis Symphony Orchestra finishes their 2007-2008 subscription season with a true barn-burner of a work, Carl Orff's Carmina Burana. The work is best known for the first movement, O Fortuna, which has been appropriated for everything from motion pictures to commercials. If you've ever wondered what all those singers were singing about, here's a video that just might give you some clarity:
AWIAEWNCOYS theme composer Virgomusic, in her other guise as Miss Music Nerd, has an excellent bit of writing on misheard lyrics--along with a link to the actual lyrics of O Fortuna. I hope the people seated near me don't mind me snickering during the first and last movements.
