Our Top Story Today--I swear I got stuck behind this woman more than once when I was driving in Sarasota:
TALLAHASSEE, Fla. -- A Florida woman who is considered to be the world's oldest driver got her license renewed until 2011.
Lillian Cox, 101, said she has been driving since 1915 and continues to travel around Tallahassee in her 1984 sedan.
Said "1984 sedan" is a white Cadillac Deville--natch (I swear, I think they issue big white cars to the retirees in Florida!)--but God bless her for hanging in for so long! Let's go to press!
The Alton Weekly Inquirer! News from around the nation, around the world, and up your alley! ("Up my alley?"Up YOURS!)
Page Six!
We debut a new feature on the AWI: gratuitous inspiring photos of attractive celebrity-type people!
Natalie Dormer is currently playing Anne Boleyn in the Showtime series The Tudors. Her run on the show comes to an abrupt end this weekend when she (OK, her character) gets her head cut off, but I expect we'll see more of her in other roles to come.
Our equal time beefcake? Why, Alan Rickman, of course.
All I can say is, I can't imagine the smell from this: In nearby Swansea, Illinois, a woman who was served an arrest warrant for an unrelated traffic charge was found holding 28 cats and 1 dog in her van. The woman, who had become homeless, had a previous conviction on animal cruelty charges relating to a previous pet collection episode involving 127 animals in a mobile home. Most of the cats were surprisingly friendly, according to Humane Society personnel who recovered the pets from the van. (Weird link: this woman was a client at our clinic at one time. Apparently she "veterinarian shopped" and would move on when a doctor got wise to her collecting ways.)
Barack Obama is cool without even trying. Charlie Crist, on the other hand: As reported by Blast Off, the possible presumptive running mate for St. John McCain who is all but openly campaigning to be Huggy Bear's running mate, tries to stay cool like McCain's opponent....except....
[H]e's so conscious about the image that aides set up mini-fans for him at news conference podiums so he doesn't perspire on camera.
How small-market anchorman of him. I suppose the tan is artifical also? (But wait, as tans go,it could be worse. No, really.)
Finally, The Duke (no, not that one) gets the respect he deserves: Motivational speaker Russell Simon Jr., a heretofore former drug addict and convicted felon who later became a motivational speaker, was arrested on multiple counts including assault with a deadly weapon--the weapon, in this case, being a statue of John Wayne--which means that the statue actually saw more action in one night than it's subject did in all of World War II. Needless to say, this has put an abrupt end to Mr. Simon's speaking career--could a Congressional run (as a Republican, of course) be far behind?
And then to O'Hare; and to England then:
Where ne'er from Alton arrived more happy men: Nancy and I have committed ourselves to making a trip to England. Neither of us have ever been to Europe, and we have always wanted to go. With all of our other obligations, achieving this goal will be a challenge, but we shall do our utmost to make it so. We're hoping to go in November 2010. That gives us 30 months to save our money for the venture. Nancy is especially motivated; I even heard that she is planning on auctioning off all of her Alan Rickman and Harry Potter memorabilia to raise money for the trip. (OK, I made that last part up.)
Actually, Nancy, the hell with England! This is what we should be doing! This ad was seen in the Madison County News-Bulletin:
Travel the Ronald Reagan Trail Explore the Illinois towns that shaped a President
The historic Ronald Reagan Trail is a self-guided driving tour that celebrates the hometown values and heritage of our 40th President.
Next to a shot of Our Glorious Gipper's smiling mug is the web address. The question I have is, which Illinois town gave him the values of cutting taxes, raising the deficit, ignoring AIDS, and trading arms to Iran for hostages, among other things?
This week's Floyd R. Turbo Award: My usual peeps that write screeds to the Belleville News Republican Democrat didn't deliver this week, but were made up for by this LTE, highlighted on Blast Off! this week:
What's the story with Wright's disappearing act?
What happened to the Rev. Jeremiah Wright? He seems to have disappeared after Sen. Barack Obama finally "distanced" himself following his recent appearance at various events. Did they tie him up and put him in a closet? I find it difficult to believe that he is no longer newsworthy. How in the world did they hush him up? I guess the Obama campaign wouldn't stand for such nonsense. Never mind "where in the world is Matt Lauer." I want to know "where in the world is the Rev. Wright?" There's an investigative opportunity if ever I saw one.
DOROTHY MERVINE
West Palm Beach
Methinks you answered your own question, Dorothy--and in any case, what newsworthiness is there in digging up Jeremiah Wright, who is now the retired pastor of Trinity United Church of Christ, unless you're a wingnut grasping at straws? 150 days to the election, and counting.
Your moment of Inky:
Godspeed, Harvey Korman, and thanks for all the laughs:
