The Alton Weekly Inquirer! 05-02-08

From the top floor of the Alton Weekly Inquirer Action EyeWitness NewsCenter On Your Side, in the true-blue state of Illinois....

Our Top Story Today:Your North Platte, Nebraska, Police at Work:

At 8:16 p.m. on April 22, a North Platte police patrolman was dispatched by the 911 Center to a North Platte home in the 200 block of William Avenue on the complaint of a wedgie[...]

The officer was able to calm the situation and no one was cited or arrested.

The police spokesman said they are ever vigilant and on the lookout for wedgies here.

Because when the number of wedgies explode, the terrorists win.  Let's go to press!

The Alton Weekly Inquirer!  News from around the nation, around the world, and up your alley!  ("Up my alley?"  Up YOURS!)

Best quote of the week thus far is from Jesse Walker, writing on the Reason Magazine blog about Alan Keyes not obtaining the nomination of the libertarian-leaning Constitution Party to run for President:

It's a small but satisfying victory for two noble though possibly lost causes: the movement to end the occupation of Iraq and the transideological coalition to get Alan Keyes to shut up.

So those wanted a repeat of the Obama-Keyes race of 2004 are cruelly (or perhaps mercifully?) denied--but fear not, maybe Fox News will give the bombastic Keyes a guest-host slot on Bill Orally's show.

Best blog headline of the week so far is from the So-Called Austin Mayor smacks down the gas tax holiday proposal:

BioFuel Breakthrough: Clinton and McCain Agree on Horseshit-Based Gas Policy

Meanwhile Obama avoids the obvious pandering on this issue, and argues sensibly that the taxes are needed for infrastructure repair and maintenance.  It's not quite a makeup for his Fox News appearance, but it's a start.  Oh, and speaking of horse sense:

McCain/Harris 2008!  Let's make it happen! LOLZ!  

Ho-leee, shee-yut, this is batshit-crazy even by Ronda Storms' usual low standards:  In the Florida Senate, a bill that would have required women seeking an abortion to undergo an ultrasound and view photos of the fetus was stopped in its tracks, barely, by a 20-20 vote.  The opposition to the bill was led by a Republican and former Senate President, Jim King, who made this eminently sensible argument:

"Unless you ovulate or have ovulated, we have no business as males interfering with this decision."

Meanwhile fellow Senator Ronda Storms, in an absolutely antithetical statement (not to mention a deeply offensive one, also) said this, pleading for passage of the bill:

"[W]omen use abortion or self-induced miscarriage as entertainment."

You know, I'm completely speechless at this point.  (via Florida Politics)

(Lots more Ronda Storms fun noted here on the Blast Off blog. The one saving grace for those of us who oppose her agenda is Ronda's singular lack of legislative skill.  "MISLAT", indeed.)

 

This week's Floyd R. Turbo Award:  Our old friend Ron Sutterfield, writing in the Belleville News-Republican Democrat bites down on the BS over Rev. Wright and flag pins hook, line, and sinker:

Are we voting for a commander in chief of America or a leader of the Black Panthers? After hearing the sermons of Jeremiah Wright, Barack Obama's pastor, I have great concern.

To think that a presidential candidate can sit for 20 years under these anti-American hate-filled racial slurs and say that he doesn't agree with some of them is ridiculous. You don't expose your children to this kind of hate unless you believe it.

I no longer wonder why Obama won't wear an American flag on his lapel. I no longer wonder why Michelle Obama was never proud of America. I no longer wonder why I was concerned for his patriotism. I no longer wonder why he's friendly with William Avers, a self- confessed terrorist. I no longer wonder why he took a sweetheart deal for his home from Tony Rezko. I no longer wonder why he won't answer more than eight questions during a press conference.

Ron Sutterfield
Swansea, IL

Rezko?  Rezko? Obama put that one to bed back in March.  The rest, well, we could call it the typical delusions of someone who gets their news from Rush, Bill Orally, and Faux News.

Or, we could call it a preview.

 

Your moment of Inky:

What's the news in your world this week?

(Updated to fix the date and a grammatical error.  Thanks Lashe!)