The Alton Weekly Inquirer! 03-14-08

From the top floor of the Alton Weekly Inquirer Action EyeWitness NewsCenter On Your Side, in the true-blue state of Illinois....

Our Top Story Today: Secret Ingredient Discovered in South Miami Beach Omelets:

If this were Oklahoma, Sally Kern would be all over it.  But I'm sure she's busy hunting down falafels instead.  In the meantime.....let's go to press!

The Alton Weekly Inquirer!  News from around the nation, around the world, and up your alley!  ("Up my alley?"  Up YOURS!)

Further proof that the Democratic primary season is one for the ages:

Puerto Rico becomes player in Dem primary

So pumped up are Puerto Rico's Democrats that last week they switched from a caucus to an open primary to facilitate voter participation.

The Democratic National Committee has to approve it, but McClintock [chairman of PR's Democratic Party] doesn't foresee any objections.

"With so much at stake, people are going to vote en masse," he said.

"One for the ages" indeed.  I feel like I've aged about 10 years, riding this thing out!

Creeping sharia alert:  Andre Carson won the special election to fill the IN-7 Congressional seat held by his grandmother, Julia Carson.  In the process he became the second Muslim, after Keith Ellison of Minnesota, to win a congressional seat.

Cue the screeching from the usual--and unusual--suspects:

Al-Qaeda may not know Andre Carson, but when they find out he is Muslim, they may be dancing in the streets.[...]  Will he be the second Muslim to take an oath on the Qur’an? (emphasis theirs)--Creeping Sharia.com

Delightful.

Like having a NAZI elected to Congress in 1940.

I feel all warm and fuzzy and inclusive inside.
--commenter on (where else?) Free Republic.

Getting Closer to Long-Term Domination Goal: 2nd Muslim Elected to Congress--headline on Debbie Schlussel's blog.

This, while Reuters reports that Carson's faith was not an issue in the special election.  I almost hate to tell the poor dears that Rep. Carson converted to Islam from the Southern Baptist faith, but I just love the sound of wingnut heads exploding across the land.  A personal failing, I know.

(I would also add that I searched LTEs in the Indianapolis Star, thinking that someone would write in Teh Crazy about the "Muslim" running for Congress, and I would have my Floyd R. Turbo Award winner for this week, no further effort required.  I found nothing, which certainly confirms Reuter's reporting--and this is Indiana.  Bully for them!)

Attention campaign professionals: if you do a voting guide for the Dungeons and Dragons constiuency, it's best to speak the language:  Science fiction author Charles Stross, who claims he knows little about politics but seems to know a lot about D&D, decided to do the three candidates (McCain, Clinton, and Obama) as D&D monster manual entries!  While most of the humor is very inside, I did like this bit on McCain:

SPECIAL DEFENSES: +3 or better weapon to hit. In event of combat, 20% chance of heart attack per round, followed by the swearing in of President Santorum. (You wouldn't want that, would you?)

And if you, like Samantha Power, think of Clinton as a mosnter, you're not alone:

As with all Clintons, Hillary exudes negative charisma towards Republicans. Otherwise, she's a classic machine reptile.

He adds his persepctive as a self-dmitted "furriner": "After all, as Douglas Adams remarked, the whole point of voting for flesh-eating lizards in any election is that if you don't vote, the wrong lizard might get in."

Speaking of St. McCain:  The Pensacola Beach Blog highlighted this multiple choice quiz from The New Yorker on our not-so-worthy opponent.  A sample question:

4. Which of these statements about McCain is true?  

(a) He used to be against Bush’s tax cuts and for overturning Roe v. Wade, but now he’s for extending the tax cuts and against overturning Roe v. Wade.

(b) He used to be against allowing illegal immigrants to earn citizenship, but now he’s for it.

(c) He used to be against Bush’s tax cuts and overturning Roe v. Wade and for allowing illegal immigrants to earn citizenship, but now he’s for extending the tax cuts and overturning Roe v. Wade and avoids talking about illegal immigrants earning citizenship.

Hmmm, a multiple choice test.  This should be perfect for "Mittens" Romney, who would actually be honored to be his running mate.  Heh.

Viral Photoshop of the Week:

With a tip of the hat to the immortal Mel Brooks:

But who will be Obama's Waco Kid, if he wins the nomination?

From the "Republicans have their priorities straight" department, item 53,162:  The reconvening of the Florida Legislature has brought back on of its perennials, state Sen. Larry Siplin's bill to make illegal the wearing of baggy pants.  This, while the Lege fights a severe budget crunch in the Sunshine State.

AWIAEWNCOYS's court composer composer-in-residence premieres her concerto:  Our own Virgomusic (composing in her non-dKos guise of Linda Kernohan) got a nice write-up on the performance of her Concerto for Theremin and Chamber Orchestra, premiered by the San Diego Chamber Orchestra on March 10th.  Big congratulations to her!  

Your moment of Inky:

The Empress in repose, ready to recieve her subjects.

What's the news in your world this week?